Bearded

There are a few things that are for sure when you grow a beard:

1. Your Mum will not like it.
2. Small children (even those related to you) will be scared upon the beard's first sighting. It may take a few months for children to be comfortable with your growth.
3. Grown men will be envious because their wives/girlfriends/significant others 'don't like how it feels when we kiss'.
4. Pre-pubescent boys will be intimidated by you.
5. Your employer will think you're slipping, regardless of actual output levels. This is, of course, unless you are a removalist. If you are a removalist and you don't have a beard, you are not a true removalist.

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