THE BIRTH STORY OF ROO COULSON

This is a story I've waited to tell. The wait wasn't something I intended. I'm a pretty impatient person by nature. I like things to happen quickly.

Roo's birth didn't happen that way.

Kesh was always meant to be a mother. She has in her an indescribable passion for nurturing living things - me included. She saved my life. Not because I was going to die but because the life she helps me to live is more than I would have ever had without her.

There is within Kesh an unconditional love that could fill any space. It filled my failing heart and now flows into our little Roo.

Pregnancy and birth were important to us. We made a conscious decision to be informed, educated and prepared. The only thing is, we had no idea that birth is something you can never be prepared for. No matter how many books you read, no matter how many people you speak to and no matter how many courses you attend, the hallowed ground each woman walks upon through the miracle that is child birth is something you can never know unless you've been there.

We knew what we wanted; a drug free, natural birth, resulting in a healthy Mum and baby. And that's what we worked towards from the moment we found out Kesh was pregnant.

On Tuesday night, May 29, Kesh woke me and told me she was in labour. It was a touch before midnight and I was relieved the time had come. Birth was something that we honestly were looking forward to. We had very little fear in the lead up. We were positive and spent the final days with each other. We visited our favourite places and walked along the sea's edge in anticipation of what was to come.

I asked Kesh if she could sleep. We knew that if she could, this is what needed to happen. Sleep was an impossibility for Kesh. Her contractions were already five minutes apart and were lasting up to a minute. She told me to try and get some more sleep. 'I'll need your strength later,' she told me. I never realised how significant those words were.

I laid my head on the pillow and at 2am, the contractions were at the point where Kesh needed me. I reminded Kesh of what her body was doing, to allow it to happen and helped her breathe through a few contractions.

Kesh jumped in the shower and it felt good. I timed each contraction and the break between. Strangely, this is something I became a little too concerned with over the next day or so.

We headed back to the bed and Kesh contracted, while the Sun began to rise. We called our Mums and with the frequency and intensity of Kesh's contractions increasing, we decided to head into the hospital around 8am.

The car trip was actually calm and felt right. Contractions slowed but we knew they would. On the way in, Kesh and I spoke about her desire to be a midwife.

When we arrived, we decided Kesh would be checked. This wasn't in our plan but we felt it would be good to know where we were at. The news was what we expected. Kesh was 4cm and everything felt about right, according to our midwife, a beautiful lady we'd met with through the clinic on more than one occasion.

And this is where things get a little blurry in my mind.

The next six hours were hard. We were active, we breathed, we took walks, we showered and used the bath, we squatted and used the birth ball. We worked really hard. And when I say we, I mean Kesh. Kesh worked amazingly hard. Her body began to shake, her legs cramped, her back ached but she was ok - just.

Around 3pm, we decided it would be a good time to be checked. Kesh had made it another centimetre, maybe two. This time though, we received some other news, which was a little harder to bear. Our baby wasn't in the right place. A little too far to the right, with its head in between the right place and the wrong place. With the advice we received, we decided to have Kesh's waters broken. It was hoped that this would help to bring our baby into the right position and increase the rate at which dilation was occurring.

I held Kesh's hand and told her that I was there with her.

For another three hours, I held Kesh. Her body was, we believed, doing what we needed it to do. Our baby was close. The sounds Kesh was making began to change. There was a primal rawness in her. She was bearing down and moving into each contraction. Our midwife readied herself just before 6pm. It seemed our baby wasn't far away.

Soon though, Kesh needed to change positions. When she did, everything slowed. The noises she had been making were no longer heard. The intensity and frequency of her contractions had lessened. Kesh welcomed this. Her body was exhausted. Her mind, too.

I wasn't sure what to think. I was sure our baby was about to come into the world and now, Kesh was almost asleep and her contractions were coming every ten minutes - the least frequent they had been since labour began, 16 hours earlier.

We could never have been prepared for the news that came next.

Another examination revealed that Kesh's cervix had not dilated over the last three hour period. Instead, due to our baby's postion, her cervix was swelling with each contraction, which was actually working against the natural process of dilation. The space for our baby to move through was getting smaller, instead of getting bigger.

Around this time, I received a text from my Mum telling me she was about to begin the three hour drive so that she and my Dad could be close. Kesh and I had decided early on that we wanted this experience to be ours. I'd told my Mum at least five times that day not to worry about coming.

Not long after that, I also learned that Kesh's parents were already on their way down to be closer to us.

I can see now that they were being pulled to us by a greater power and not by coincidence. Things were not going how we had planned. While we knew that things wouldn't go perfectly for us, we never anticipated the problem that was before us.

Kesh was properly exhausted and I let her sleep. I sat there in that room, watching her. She breathed heavily but quietly and woke every ten minutes or so with a contraction and then, almost immediately, fell asleep again.

I woke Kesh at 7pm and we spoke about what was happening. Kesh was scared and asked me if I'd offer a special prayer.

I did.

I told Kesh that we were going to get up and in the shower and work as hard as we could until 8pm. I told her we were going to get the baby out. We'd been told that the situation was serious enough that if things hadn't changed by then, intervention may be required.

In the shower, I held my wife up. I placed my head next to hers and I told her to use my mind, my strength, my everything. I told her that she could do this and that she was doing this. With each contraction I felt her pain. And I started to get scared. Really, really scared that my wife and my baby might not be ok. I started watching the phone more and more. I knew I needed help and that Kesh's parents were close and my parents weren't far behind.

Kesh's parents arrived to find Kesh naked in the shower and me in my green shorts, holding her up. I didn't know what to say, so I asked Kesh's Mum where her bikini was. I laughed but only briefly.

8pm came and with it, my parents. Kesh lay, barely conscious on the bed, covered by a blanket. I watched her Dad, a beautifully strong man, fight back tears as he struggled with the scene that lay before him. His baby daughter was exhausted and in serious pain, while her body continued to do the opposite of that which was required. After a few minutes, he left the room, unable to bear it anymore.

Kesh shrunk into each contraction. Another midwife was called for a second opinion based on the findings of our midwife's examination. She confirmed that Kesh had actually regressed and her cervix was closing due to the pressure from our baby's head and the swelling this was bringing with it.

Kesh cried, and me too.

We realised that something serious needed to happen. We realised that Kesh's body wasn't going to do what we needed it to do. Both Kesh and I had never wanted to use any drugs during birth. None, at all. When the midwives advised us that Kesh would need syntocinon and an epidural, it wasn't what we wanted to hear.

I thought I would hate this news - that I would fight it and refuse. I quickly learned the truth required in surrendering to child birth.

And surrender we did.

Our parents headed to the waiting room and the anaesthesiologist arrived somewhere around 9pm. I held Kesh's hand and watched over her shoulder as the needle went into her spine. Fluids were administered through a drip around the same time. Kesh was dehydrated and finding a vein was close to impossible. I watched as the most skilled midwife on duty dug around Kesh's forearm, trying to find a vein.

Kesh lost feeling on one side of her body and never completely lost it on the other. Syntocinon was administered and these stronger contractions began to move our baby into the right place.

I stayed with Kesh and we turned out the lights. We would both need rest for what was about to come. I sat in a chair in the corner and watched Kesh's chest rise and fall in the darkness. I realised how important she was to me, from the corner of that birthing room.

With the change of shift came a new midwife. I silently watched her observing Kesh. Somewhere around 1am, she told me to get some rest. Kesh was progressing and she would need me.

Just before 2am on the 31st of May, Kesh was examined. She had fully dilated and it was time to start pushing. I couldn't believe it. I honestly thought that our baby was never going to make it and now we were ready to push.

Kesh woke a little upset. She couldn't move her legs and this bothered her. She had always wanted a drug free birth and the ability to move freely into whatever position felt best.

The bed was lifted and Kesh was instructed to push.

And she pushed.

After not many contractions, I realised that this is something we could no longer do alone. I regretted telling our parents to go home. Once Kesh had the epidural, I had been out to the waiting room to update them. 'Things are happening but really slowly,' I'd told them. 'You should just go and sleep at our house.'

It wasn't just me who'd told them to go home. The midwives had said the same. Looking back, our parents had been told to leave the hospital on about five different occasions. Now, just after 2am, I would have done anything to have them there with us.

In between contractions, I offerred a prayer, in my mind, and ran from the birthing room and down the hall to the waiting room where our parents had been, hours earlier. I prayed that someone might be in that room who could help us. I will never forget the feeling when I opened that door and saw all of our parents there, waiting. They hadn't left us.

My Mum was the only one still awake. I spoke very directly to her and said 'Come and help us get this baby out.' Kesh's Mum must have heard me and stirred on the lounge. 'Please, come and help too.'

All three of us walked down the dark hallway and into Kesh's room. I've never felt such relief, as I did when I saw our parents there.

I later learnt that after being told to leave so many times, they actually had. They were in their cars and had already pulled out of the hospital car park. My Mum felt drawn to us, the whole day. So did Kesh's Dad. They had been texting and calling, pleading to be near us. So, for them and my Mum especially, leaving didn't feel right. Mum asked Dad to pull over and she flagged down Kesh's parents.

'I don't feel right about leaving,' is all my Mum said. The four most significant people in our lives turned their cars around and walked back into the waiting room, not knowing that in a few hours their son and daughter would need them, more than they ever had. I am forever grateful to them for not leaving us.

In order for Kesh to be able to push properly, the epidural had been allowed to wear off. With it came extraordinary back pain, again, due to our baby's positioning. All three of us took turns massaging Kesh's lower back to the point that our bodies wouldn't allow us to push any harder. One midwife told me not to push as hard as I was. 'You're going to bruise her.' Kesh came back quickly with 'I don't care about bruises. Push harder!'

From 2am until 5am, I have never seen such things. I have never known my wife until that time. I have never witnessed such strength, such will and such love. There are no normalities when it comes to birth but I'm aware that pushing for three hours is pretty much unheard of these days. It gets dangerous for all involved when things go for that long. Kesh started to not look like Kesh and I started to doubt if our baby would ever come out. Seriously.

Kesh was in labour for almost 30 hours. We were in labour at the hospital for almost 22 hours. During that time, there was only one contraction that I wasn't with Kesh. I had been holding her leg up for about twenty minutes and asked her Mum to take over. I sat against the wall, a few metres away. My mind was in a dark place. I really believed that our baby might not come out naturally and that this night might never end. I saw my wife hurting. I saw her crawling up the bed to try and get out of her own skin.

You cannot be prepared for what child birth will do to you. Until you've been through it, you just don't know.

I said a prayer. I put my head in my hands and pleaded with the Creator of life to allow this life into ours.

For this whole three hour period, we could see our baby's head. It was right there. It just wasn't coming out.

We were told that this was becoming a risk to both Kesh and our baby. We were told that this delivery would be instrumental, at best. The Doctor had been called and he'd ordered a top up of the epidural. Up until this point, Kesh had been squatting, with the support of me and our Mums, who had been taking turns holding Kesh up.

We were blessed to have two amazing midwives, who wanted us to deliver naturally. With the top up syringe in her hand, our midwife told us that she could give us four more contractions and she wasn't even meant to give us that. One more in the position Kesh was in and three squatting.

With the first contraction came nothing. We lifted the naked body of my wife into a squat and pushed with her. And almost suddenly, our baby began to move. By the last contraction we were meant to have, the head was almost completely out. With the 5th contraction, the head came out and then Kesh simply breathed.

You know, I am in awe of my wife. I'm in awe of every single woman who has ever given birth - in any way. Birth is no joke. I would go as far as to say that what each woman does to bring a child into the world is unbelievable.

'It's a boy,' I told Kesh with tears in my eyes.

I have never known such emotion as I did at that moment. He did come out, seconds before the arrival of the Doctor.

Roo Joe Coulson was placed on Kesh's chest and I exploded with joy, relief, ecstasy and love. I actually remember grabbing our midwife and kissing her. I remember seeing our Mums and being so grateful they were there for us. I thought about the strength in them, having birthed six children each. It was then that I began to marvel at womanhood.

Kesh cried, a lot. She couldn't believe she had done it. 'He's so beautiful,' she said over and over.

I left the room to tell our Dads the news. I walked through the door to the waiting room and they were still there. Their faces pleaded with me for good news. 'We had a boy. You have a grandson.' They were overjoyed. We hugged and I returned to Kesh and Roo.

For my Dad, the birth of Roo was extremely meaningful. Roo is the first grandchild to carry on his family name. Dad hasn't really told me how much this means to him but he doesn't have to.

Roo was born at 4:55am and weighed 3.9kg or 8 pound 10 ounces. His middle name, Joe, is in memory of one of my best friends.

Roo is a week old today. He is more than I could have ever imagined. I hold him and struggle to imagine him being in Kesh's belly, even though I know he was. He made me a father. I'm his Dad. He's my son. I love him. I tell him that I'm going to be the best Dad for him. I want to help him become a great person - someone who brings so much goodness into this world.

I love Kesh. She is everything to me. When I'm not with her, I want to be. My life is better because of her, in ways that I can't explain in words.

I realised, quickly, that I wouldn't be able to document the birth in the way I had intended. Kesh needed my strength and the camera became less significant as the labour progressed. I put it down without the intention of picking it up. My Mum, thankfully, did pick it up and most of the shots from when Roo is born are taken by her. Thank you, Mum.

To me, birth is amazing. It's beautiful. It's the most special thing we as humans can do; to create life.

Thank you for following our story. Thank you for your love and support.

Love,
Kesh, Tim and Roo.



157 comments:

  1. I am bawling. Simply beautiful x
    Love to you three

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  2. You and Kesh help me to believe in real love. Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful boy.

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  3. congratulations tim, to you and your family, truly beautiful !

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  4. incredible story completely choked up, beautiful family congratulation to all of you.

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  5. Oh Tim. I, as I'm sure everyone who reads this, have tears falling.
    What an incredible story. And what an incredible family you are. As for Kesh... I have no words.
    The photos are beautiful, and in her face - I see all those feelings I felt 2.5 years ago... And all those I'm about the face again in the coming days.
    Birth really is the miracle of life. Thank you for sharing your story. It's made me even more excited to meet my new little one in the coming days/weeks.
    Love to the three of you. x

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  6. wow...it is hard to find the words to describe the experience of reading this.
    This is the definition of love, life and what is means to be human.
    x

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  7. I feel so emotional (sitting at my desk at work). I feel so empowered and in incredible awe.

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  8. Me too Luisa. Stunning Tim. Congratulations to both of you.

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  9. What a amazing journey for all of you, I can hear what a determined and brave woman Kesh was and how very proud you are of her. Congratulations to you both I'm so glad that you are all safe and well and enjoying your new beautiful boy Roo. x

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  10. Beautiful words and pictures. Brought tears to my eyes! Congratulations to the three of you :)

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  11. This is beyond amazing. I'm reading this at work with tears rolling down my face. Thank you so much for sharing your lives with us. Roo is a very lucky boy, you and Kesh are and will be amazing parents.

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  12. Congrtulations Tim and Kesh, now go sleep while you can.

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  13. thanks for sharing this amazing story Tim & Kesh. xx

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  14. What beautiful words. Thank you for sharing this with us, Tim. So much hard work for such a lovely and amazing gift at the end. Well done Kesh!

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  15. You guys are so amazing. Your lives and gifts and loves are truly a blessing to those who are lucky enough to share in them.. and you are so generous to share those things with so many who have never even had the pleasure of meeting you. May God bless and favour your family and your new son with blessings beyond your wildest dreams and expectations - you, Kesh and Roo not only deserve that but it will surely pour out of you to others even more so.

    We love you guys. And I pray we get to spend more time with you in this life.

    The Davs'

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  16. oh tim, so so beautiful - and that's only the photos! I haven't time to read your story yet, but had to see the photos. of course you have captured so much emotion. it took me back through every stage of my labours.. looking forward to reading roo's story tonight. congratulations again x

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  17. Wow. Just wow. Thank you so much for sharing this. I literally have no other words, but I just KNOW I'll be thinking about this story for the rest of the day xxx

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  18. I ran out of tissues yesterday! I have none in the house..............I just had to run to the toilet to pull off a long ream of paper, I had a stream of tears and snot running down my face!

    You are a true story teller in your beautiful images and your even more beautiful words, thanks for letting us be a part of your amazing journey.

    Lots of love to you all!

    Jennifer {Jason Dixon's little sister}

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  19. Oh my gosh, the tears.
    You have written this so beautifully.
    Kesh is a trooper. A natural mother. She looks so beautiful and so strong in all these photos.
    Your mother must be a natural at photography too - can see where you get your amazing talent from.
    Congratulations to all of you. Am so happy Roo is here, safe and sound.
    Ronnie xo

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  20. The arrival into the world of a brand new life is wondrous. You have encapsulated that so so beautifully. I have four boys. Four boys I carried in my belly, saw and felt grow inside me. Four boys I gave birth to. Somedays they drive me absolutely mental. Our life is messy and stressful, loud and full-on. But not a day goes by where I do not remember the wonderment of bringing them into this world and the indescribable joy, relief and LOVE in its purest form on seeing them for the first time.

    Welcome to the journey guys.

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  21. you made me cry! that was so powerful. kesh your amazing xo

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  22. I'm pregnant with my third right now and your story has flooded me with emotion. Thank you for sharing it! Births always something surreal and awesome no matter what. You did an amazing job and told a beautiful story. Congrats!!!

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  23. Birth is incredible Tim, as a mother of two I am still always amazed by it. You have captured it beautifully. Congratulations to you all.

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  24. This was me, 5 years ago, this could be the birth story of my first son. It was the hardest thing I've ever done and traumatic for everyone in the room. But all that soon fades away, and everything now becomes about your baby's life instead of his birth. Kesh should be so proud, a mothers love gives you strength beyond belief.

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  25. tears in my eyes. what a journey. bless you both x

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  26. Wonderful, beautiful, congratulations to you all. (Great job Mama!)

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  27. Absolutely wonderful. Congratulations!! It has been a pure joy to watch the belly grow and to now read and see the more than generous sharing of this incredible family moment for you all. I've said it before and I'll say it again... so heartwarming. Welcome little bubba Roo.

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  28. Simply put .... beautiful! Knowing how much you endured to bring little Roo into the world, he could never doubt how much he was wanted and loved. Welcome to parenthood - the bumpiest ride I know, but one I am thankful to stay on forever xxx

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  29. Beautiful, beautiful story. I don't know what to say -- I'm amazed, filled with happiness. When I glanced at the post and saw how long it was, I thought, "Oh gosh. I am so not reading this whole thing." Tim, let me tell you, my eyes were glued to the laptop screen. Cliche as it sounds, this was one of the most beautiful and inspiring birth stories I have ever seen. The photos are fantastic too. So happy for you two and Baby Roo!

    You documented this beautifully.

    By the way -- Kesh is probably the only woman I've ever seen that actually looked pretty while in pain and after giving birth.

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  30. I literally have no words. the raw emotion and power in this leaves me speechless and almost breathless. this was amazing, and I'm so proud of you both! praying God's most bountiful blessings on you, Kesh, and little Roo :) xx.

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  31. You are so right....you can never be prepared for that path.

    I'm so deeply proud of you guys, for your determination, gratitude and acceptance. Your faith and belief is inspiring. You birthed as a family, you came together from love.


    What an honour, for us all to witness this journey - this raw, primal, confronting, joyous, liberating journey.

    You are forever changed. And we are forever inspired x

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  32. Your belief in Kesh and in the power of your love is so beautiful Tim.
    Cherish your beautiful family and hug Kesh tight when the trauma of the birth bubbles up...and it will:)
    So pleased for you to have so much love and support around you at this wonderful time...

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  33. so so beautiful and congratulations both of you. i'm so happy for you!!

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  34. oh my gosh - tears, tears and more tears....what an amazing and beautiful birth story. Thank you so much for sharing.

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  35. i'm just gonna go ahead and have a little cry here at my desk, powerful words, powerful experience - thank you for sharing. kesh - warrior, roo - precious, tim - amazing.

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  36. You would think after three babies and a basic knowledge of the emotion you would capture, I'd be smart enough not to read this in public. Years for days! You learnt in an instant why your parents could never leave x

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  37. What a moving story. Thank you so much for sharing and congratulations!!!!

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  38. this is powerful

    motherhood, fatherhood, birth it is all so powerful

    After my labour with my girl I remember saying to my partner - I feel like I have fallen in love with you all over again. We saw a different side to each other. The bond created in the birthing room was unbelievable. Bond between Mother, Father and Daughter. Powerful.

    Your words portray that bond, those moments perfectly.

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  39. I just cried and cried and cried. Doesn't birth take incredible strength? I love hearing the story through your words TIm and seeing it through your eyes. I would love to hear Kesh's story too...when she is ready. Roo is here, there can be no regretting of things that are out of our control. Your story is amazing. It is your story and no one else's. The love that surrounds you is amazing.

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  40. You have a real gift with words Tim, amazing is all I can say...What a trooper Kesh is!!! God gave Kesh the job of birthing him and God only gives challenges that he knows we can handle within ourselves...he have Kesh this tough yet rewarding job! Well done!

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  41. Congratulations - what a powerful birthing. You had a wonderful midwife to let those extra, necessary pushes come along! Kesh and Roo will cherish these words forever. Tears and more tears. And such great parents to listen to their inner voices. As a grandparent I can understand that! We women (and men too) find that extra strength when we need it most. Much love to you and your family. Thank you for sharing with us.

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  42. Tim, this is absolutely beautiful. I'm overwhelmed with tears of happiness for you both.

    Thank you for documenting and sharing this online. I can't wait to see your family blossom.

    Nicole / GPV

    x

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  43. As I sit here with so many tears, my growing baby wriggles away in my belly. Thank you for sharing your amazing journey, it is a reminder that what we all aim for is a healthy baby and mother. As long as this is the outcome of our births, then life is beautiful. Kesh seems such an amazing woman, so strong and powerful. I hope I can be just a little like her when our baby decides it is time to arrive.
    You write with such love, it is so beautiful to read.
    Rhi xx

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  44. go kesh!! you did it lady! and it's pretty cool to hear it from your perspective tim. thanks for sharing coulsons. welcome little roo (SUCH a cute name).

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  45. that was so beautiful to read. congratulations!

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  46. Oh, I had tears streaming down my face when I read this. What touched me the most, was what your parents did in turning back to the hospital, listening to the voice inside, calling them to do something different than what seemed to make sense. Knowing that your little Roo will grow up encircled not only in yours and Kesh's love, but the love and wisdom of your parents, must be indescribable.
    Congrats guys :)

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  47. Just breathtaking Tim - thank you for sharing Roo and Kesh and your story with us xx

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  48. no words for the raw and true beauty of this. felt really prompted to pray several times throughout the delivery. such a beautiful birth story. you two are going to be amazing parents. much love to your family of three.

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  49. I've also been sitting here reading with tears streaming down my face. What love and honesty you write with Tim. Kesh is amazing. So amazing. Keep reminding her. My son's birth was so similar too Roo's and in the weeks that followed I struggled to come to terms with it.

    Congratulations on your little boy. Enjoy all the new experiences being a parent has in store for you. xx

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  50. oh so beautiful. congrats, congrats.

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  51. I loved reading this beautiful birth story from a male perspective. You will look back on this and be so glad you wrote this down. The photos are so beautiful, as is your deep love for each other. I too experienced three hour pushing with our first baby (ending in a venthouse delivery though). Yes I will be honest, I was a bit traumatised and I totally remember that feeling of sheer, frightening exhaustion. But I wanted to share with you...that after a horrific first birth, our next two babies were birthed peacefully, easily and in 1/4 of the time. Just thought I would share that in case you ever have another child! Please don't ever let the fear from the first birth scare you...You are both strong and courageous and that gorgeous little boy will be so well loved! Congratulations!

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  52. Absolutley amazing time... truly beautiful. Congratulations to you and Kesh. And Roo. :)

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  53. I'm crying. back soon to comment when I can. xx

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  54. Love and courage, both needed in spades as parents and you and Kesh have it. The great thing about welcoming a child into your life is that he or she brings so much love with them, and you see those you already love (spouse, parents) in a new way. It's such a privilege to be a parent. Thanks for sharing this with us.

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  55. Tears in my eyes, this is beautiful x

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  56. this is all so touching, the fact that she was surrounded by the strength of those who love her most. enjoy this newfound love with your newborn...it is the most precious thing. x

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  57. Tears here too. I loved reading a birth story from a dads point of view. Thanks for sharing. Well done to Kesh (and to you!). And congratulations on the birth of Roo.

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  58. Completely touching... Love the way you shared your "becoming a dad".

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  59. what a beautifully told story. thank you so much

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  60. After seeing the entire series of post leading up to this, and praying to please become a mother, this just touched me. So beautiful, so raw, these are the types of photos that I want to take. Congratulations.

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  61. This is beautiful. A story of amazing strength, beauty and love. Bless you three x

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  62. Congratulations on your wonderful new addition and clearly amazing existing family, one of the most beautiful birth stories I've read.

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  63. i have tears in my eyes Tim...you shared such a miracle with us. thank you. i feel very privileged to see how Roo came in to the world. Kesh's strength and your support are an inspiration. love to you and your beautiful family...and congratulations again.

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  64. Wow, just wow. Beautiful. I feel lost for words.

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  65. Such a beautiful post that captured every moment of the birthing journey so perfectly - congratulations to you and your wife.

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  66. Congratulations and thankyou for sharing your story... so beautifully told.

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  67. Kesh, You are amazing. So happy for you both, and thank you for sharing your sweet story.

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  68. I didn't breathe the whole time I was reading this...thank you tim... I am so proud of you all xx marty

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  69. I stupidly decided to read this at work. People are confused by my random tears!

    Thank you, Tim, for sharing your amazing story with us. So many, many, many congratulations to you & Kesh (& Roo!). You are all totally wonderful.

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  70. Beautiful Tim.

    What a wonderful pair you and Kesh have made and now you are three.

    Such a very lucky babe to have chosen his parents so wisely (just as you guys did by the sound of it) xx

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  71. It IS the rawest, truest experience in life ... I remain in awe of what we can achieve. You told your family's story so movingly - thank you Kesh, Tim and beautiful Roo! Enjoy every day! Hx

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  72. oh man, the tears.

    You guys, brilliantly done. I have no words (actually, I have too many) but I do have a gift to post to you!

    xo em

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  73. wow, I had to stop reading and just cry for a minute! that is so powerful, you both deserve every happiness in life, you did such an amazing job being there for your wife, im sure she couldnt have done it without you. congratulations and thank you so much for sharing your roo's story, it really touched me xx

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  74. Too many tears here too! What a story. What a man you are Tim write with such honesty. What a family you must have to have stuck around. What a woman you have in Kesh too!!!!! To call her a trooper just seems an understatement.
    Thanks for sharing your Roo's arrival story with us all. Xo

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  75. So beautiful. Kesh, you are so brave. My story is similar but I wasn't as brave and had a c-section, but still a healthy little bub! Enjoy all those newborn cuddles, there is nothing better in this world!

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  76. Tim .. That is a beautiful , powerful emotional portrail of what labour is all about! Your story brought many tears to my eyes. Thank you and congratulations to you both on the safe arrival of Roo .

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  77. I'm in tears behind my desk at work. Your story touches me so deeply, even tough we never met and you don't know me (I feel like I know you guys, how strange is that?)
    Congratulations to you and Kesh. Thanks for sharing this story!

    Welcome little Roo, you're blessed to be born in such a loving and caring family.

    Kind regards, Barbara from Belgium

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  78. Kesh & Tim, i am deeply honoured that you have shared this very personal and sacred road with us. what fantastic team work to bring sweet Roo earthside!
    he is just perfect...xo

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  79. Crying my heart out and having had five children myself, I'm just so proud of you guys. Totally impressed with the wisdom you have to focus on your blessing instead of dwelling on things not going the way you'd planned. Welcome to parenthood. You learned one of the most important lessons in 30 hours.

    Much Love,
    Andrea

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  80. Congratulations on Roo.
    What a beautifully written birth story. So raw and true.
    I think it is probably the only male written birth story I think I have ever read.
    And possibly one of the most emotional for this very reason.
    Enjoy this time, it is just wonderous. x

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  81. I sobbed all the way through this Tim. Summer's birth story is almost identical, but I could never have done it the justice you have done for Roo. Kesh looked even more beautiful than usual in these photos. Little Roo is a very lucky little man! Congratulations guys, your new life starts now! x

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  82. chills. brings back memories.

    That boy of yours will be wilful I can tell already. My second was out in an hour after heavy contractions started and she is the most impatient little toddler I have ever met. Your Roo will be as stubborn as a mule I'm sure. :))

    Congrats to you and Kesh.

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  83. Amazing.
    Congratulations.
    That is one beautiful boy.

    Thank you for sharing.

    My husband took pictures of me when I was labouring and I am so glad that he did...you go so far within yourself that when it is all said and done it is hard to believe that it was actually you who brought that baby into the world...it is wonderful to be able to look back in awe!

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  84. You guys are such a special family. Congratulations once again :) A testimony of love and grace, and everything God intended for a family to be. Love and Blessings from my family to yours xo

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  86. Tears on the train. Thank you for sharing your beautiful journey with us. My first labour was so similar; sending Kesh healing and love to the three of you. Welcome Roo!

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  87. There is so much talk going on these days about the perfect birth. Every birth is perfect. Every birth is a miracle. And whilst I know (having birthed myself) how strong Kesh was...never ever forget how strong you were for her too. The act of making a baby is extremely intimate, but just as intimate is the act of birthing a baby together.
    Your story was lovely, it made me cry and laugh and the pictures were gorgeous. Enjoy these beautiful moments and go forth and have more babies - they are worth it, absolutely worth it.
    L
    xx

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  88. I had a baby in March this year by emergency Caesarian at 34 weeks. Nothing can quite prepare you the physical and emotional journey whichever way the babies arrive. I wish you all the best with your little one.

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  89. Oh. My. Word! Incredible, vulnerable and raw, a beautifully written part of your history- thankyou!

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  90. My gosh. What an incredible story. And an incredible experience. Birth is amazing and scary and challenging and exhilarating all at the same time. And now you have the beautiful Roo! Can't wait to see more of him xx

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  91. Congratulations to you all! What an amazing birth story and so wonderfully told Tim.
    Birth is a miracle and an event that you can never imagine until you've been there. I'm so happy for you and Kesh. May you both bloom as parents and loving soul mates.

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  92. i had a really quick read of this a few hours ago before running off to yoga.
    i've just read through it again, post-yoga, and had a good little sob. this is beautiful.
    tim, your words and photos have captured this experience in such a beautiful way.
    congratulations to both of you.
    and roo, welcome to this wonderful world.
    bel.

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  93. I know I'm not any different, but couldn't read this without getting weepy. It's all too similar to my own birth experience, so please tell Kesh she is nothing short of amazing and that regardless of how things pan out, the only thing you can expect with birth is the unexpected! ;) She is one of the strongest and most inspirational women that I've never met (in real life, anyway!) I've had such a blast following your photography, then onto Kesh's pregnancy, and now look forward to your upcoming adventures together as a family. So, so wonderful. Bless you all and try to sneak in some hours of sleep! xx

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  94. So beautifully told Tim. Well done Kesh!! Your strength and serenity came across so clearly in those photographs. Wow.
    Welcome to the world Roo you are a beautiful and strong looking boy. And welcome to parenthood Kesh and Tim. Forever changed indeed.

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  95. Well this is the second time i have cried today over this exact blog! I was too moved on my first read and wanted to look at the pictures on my laptop instead of my phone. And now i'm losing it again. Tears of understanding, of knowing, of heartbreak, of relief. We are all with you. The most wonderful blog post i have ever read. x

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  96. Wow, absolutely powerful stuff. Congrats!

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  97. I'm not one for easy tears, but this is absolutely the most beautiful piece I have ever, ever read. It is breathtaking and incredible. Thank you, so much, for sharing, and congratulations!

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  98. Wow, this is just breathtaking... thanks so much for sharing (and, to Kesh, well done!)

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  99. Thankyou for sharing. WOW. Lost for words here. Congratualations xxx

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  100. thank you for sharing this beautiful story.

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  101. It's amazing. From beginning to end. And, like I said, is so similar to ours in so many ways. You both did an amazing job. This is the beginning of the most wonderful time in your lives, savour every moment. Welcome to the world, little Roo. We hope to meet you one day soon xx

    ps. Your Mum is a blinkin' awesome photographer. It's clear now where you got the skills dude xx

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  102. pps. Kesh - While I was labouring at home I was doing so in the same bedsheets as you! xx

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  103. *Wiping my eyes...* Congrats guys! Welcome Roo! :D

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  104. WOW. Your wife is a trooper. Congrats!

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  105. this. was. unbelievable.
    so good. soo good.
    Never been so moved by words (images).
    God is good.

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  106. So, I was reading your beautiful words and admiring your amazing wife, and my eyes were dry. Then I started scrolling through the photos, once I got to the ones of kesh pushing and then your gorgeous babe being placed on her my eyes welled up. So much beauty in those shots, treasure them! Lots of love to you, Kesh and Roo! x

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  107. Thank you for shearing these beautiful pictures with us... Congrats!

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  108. These are some of the most beautiful words I have read. You know love. And your child will always know love and that he is loved. Congratulations to you and Kesh - strong woman, beautiful mother.

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  109. well done you guys, its not an easy thing to do but like they say its so worth it in the end ! i have two boys and my heart swells and my eyes fill with tears when I look at them x you will make fantastic parents, thanks for inviting me along x

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  110. back again! tim, this was so beautiful to read from the father/husband's perspective. I hope kesh will write about it from her's. I was doing so well until you started to speak about your parents.. my parents weren't here for any of our births, living so far away, so to hear you speak of both your parents the way you did - and the part when they left and then came back! I am still in awe that kesh pushed for 3hrs after such a long labour, I have no idea how she did it. I know the relief that comes when bub finally appears - but the relief you all must have felt is unimaginable. I am so glad for you that your mum picked up your camera. congratulations again, much love to the beautiful coulson trio x

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  111. I never read something so beautiful, your are a wonderful husband and person, your son is beautiful, congratulations!, you were so lucky to have both of your parents, my parents weren't there, I was in California, my parents in Puerto Rico, and we expected a natural birth but after more than 30 hours I need a c-section, but the important things is that our son was healthy. Congratulations to your wife, she was incredible, you have a beautiful family x

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  112. The Whinnen FamilyJune 8, 2012 at 11:25 AM

    What an absolute privilege to share such a personal moment in your lives. What a gift you've given Roo capturing this monumental moment in words and amazing photos (now I see where you get the gift of photography from Tim! Your Mum's photos are amazing).

    Brought back so many memories of 2 years ago and made me excited about whats to come for our second baby in Sept... thank you for reminding me what a beautiful, powerful, sometimes scary but always full of love moment giving birth is for both parents. I remember telling you both before it happened that it is the single best moment of your life... see what I mean?! Nothing compares.

    Lucky lucky Roo for having you and Kesh as parents! What a blessed life he will have.

    Lisa
    xx

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  113. You've written this so beautifully, I have tears streaming down my cheeks & I can't wait to share your story with my husband. Your experience is just so similar to the birth of our first baby, though ours not nearly so long, 30 hrs blows my mind! Bless you all, what a family..x

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  114. I have tears running down my face, thank you so much for sharing this special moment with us. What an amazing story, so happy to hear that your wife and son are well and healthy! Congratualtions! Kesh is a superstar!!! And you a wonderful husband and I am sure you will be an amazing dad. I just can feel the love you have for your family through you words and that is just beyong beautiful! All the best, Kristina

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  115. Such a beautifully recorded story. Like everyone else, I'm in tears. In part, because my own birth experience was so similar - 36 hours, 3 of those were spent pushing, the sheer exhaustion, the loss of ground, seeing that my husband (a doctor) was afraid. Toward the end of my labor various tools came out to 'assist' delivery. My husband leaned over and said, "you have to get this baby out NOW." I begged for 4 more pushes to do it on my own and I got her out. Something happens - just how far inside yourself you have to go and at the end there is something that makes you give a little bit more when you thought you had absolutely not an ounce left....I don't even have a word for it but you've captured it in your story and photos. Beautifully done.
    And congratulations!

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  116. Hi Tim,
    I have shared your amazing post from this morning on my blog, I hope you don't mind. It was beautifully written, and I couldn't not share it with others. Thank you for such beautiful honesty.
    Rhiannon xx
    http://lovewisdommotherhood.blogspot.com.au/2012/06/fathers-birth-story.html

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  117. Again: Huge congratulations to Kesh and you! What a beautifully written birth story - so intense, amazing and touching. What amazing strength shines through...
    Thank you so much for sharing all of this with us.

    Fine

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  118. Beautiful words and images. One of the most heartfelt pieces of writing I have read. Congratulations on the wonderful union you and your wife share which has brought you a son. Thank you for sharing your story.

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  119. Tearful blessings and congratulations to your new family. Loved reading your story Tim (and Kesh). Looking forward to the tonnes of baby photos coming, and they will come, with two talented parents like yourselves.

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  120. Congratulations guys, your wife is a trooper! I cant believe she had so much strength toget thru a 30hr labour. What an inspiration you are!

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  121. Such an amazingly beautiful story, I can't stop crying. So inspirational and inspiring. Makes me want to have more babies. Congratulations to you, Kesh and Roo, you make such a gorgeous family. Love to you all. x

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  122. What a beautiful story. What strength your wife has. Birth is something that no matter how much we feel prepared for it is a dynamic process that we can't control and what is important is that our baby is born healthly not how we birthed. Thank you for sharing your story it helps me come terms with my own difficult birth.

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  123. I love your love for each other, and I'm so very happy for you now that you share that love with your beautiful baby boy. This is a beautiful story, and I'm so glad you decided to share something so private with us. Best wishes and health to all of you! <3

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  124. Wow wow wow. That was almost exactly my story 4 years ago! Right down to the times on the clock. Not only is it my story, but my mum and my sister have also experienced this reversal of dilation and needing syntocinon. My mum experienced this birth story three times.

    There were a couple of differences for me. For example, I was attached to a saline drip and a monitor so that I couldn't shower or have a bath. My epidural was stronger so I couldn't stand or squat.

    In the end, the birth of our son (also 3.9 kg) took 32 hours and he was birthed by vacuum extraction, in theatre with everything was prepared for a caesar.

    I'm so pleased your son was born without instruments! The Ventouse left a horrible welt on our son's head. Maybe that will be my story next time.

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  125. I have never cried reading a birth story from the partner's experience. Never. Until your story that is. You nailed it. The deep of gratitude you have for your wife, well I am here just weeping.
    I can't beleive the stregth your wife mustered during her labour. Amazing.

    From a woman who has know what a difference tremendous support from a partner makes, I am sure your wife is thankful for all support you gave her on your baby boy's birth day. Congratulations, he is a stunner.

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  126. Jeepers. That was a tough read. Well done to you both and congratulations.

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  127. Such a beautiful birth story that has brought me to tears. Kesh is so amazing and I am so happy for you three. You are strong wonderful people. The pictures are so very beautiful as well.
    -Alyssa

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  128. So beautifully, truthfully put. I sympathise as I too had stubborn babies. I think we just make the world far too comfortable for them on the inside, and they're reluctant to depart. Hope mum is getting some well earned rest and recovering from the roller coaster. I just can't stop staring at my newborns when they first come out, every little detail needs to implanted firmly in my mind, such a marvel, as if they were the first baby born.

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  129. What a beautiful birth story Tim! I cried tears of joy (and tears of sorrow) as I read your & Kesh's story. You are both amazing people; both strong, courageous, loving, caring and God honouring. You are incredibly blessed to have an amazing, loving and inspiring wife in Kesh. And Kesh is blessed to have a husband like you; loving, caring, honouring. My tears of joy are for a wonderful outcome and a healthy baby boy for all Kesh's incredible efforts (and your brilliant support).

    You see almost 28 years ago, the birth of my first child was a very difficult one, 5 days in and out of labour, finally on the 5th day having my waters broken, given an epidural, placed on an Oxytocin (Syntocinon) drip for another 10 hours and to be eventually told that the only way my tiny 6lb daughter could be delivered was by Emergency Caesarean. The risk of death for her was very high after all the trauma but God had other ideas (she is an incredible young woman of God, was an assistant Youth Pastor & now married to an amazing man of God). I had 3 more children all born by caesarean (one was another emergency caesarean). My children's father wasn't there for me like you were for Kesh... like a husband should be. He wasn't there for his children either (and hence my tears of sorrow).

    Birth doesn't always happen the way we desire but, I learned that God is in control even when things don't go according to plan. Your story is beautiful, touching, raw, emotional and blessed. Congratulations to you both, may your joy continue to be full.

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  130. tim and kesh, congratulations!! of course i cried throughout your beautiful words. you described the awesomeness of birth just perfectly. lots of love to you both and to your little roo.

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  131. beautiful beautiful beautiful. that is the only word to describe the love you share, your birth story, your birthing process, your parents, and now little gorgeous baby roo. congratulations- what an incredible journey we are blessed with when we bring a new being into this world.

    love to the three of you,
    hillary

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  132. I started reading this on the 7th of June...I know the date because my sister in law messaged me half way through saying her waters had just broken! :) The next day she gave birth to a beautiful little boy! It was incredible to read your story thanks for sharing it. Welcome to the world Roo!

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  133. It's the most wonderful, frightening, amazing thing isn't it.......

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  134. That was a fucking amazing recount of a birth fraught with longing and joy, Tim. Sorry to swear, but fuck. x

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  135. Wow, I've never read or heard of such a moving and inspiring story of birth. Congrats on your adorable Roo, and Kesh, you're unbelievable - just like Tim said.

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  136. it's true, women are amazing !! and so are good men. congratulations !

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  137. Welcome Roo! Thankyou for sharing your birth story! So many similarities between yours and mine....and my husband says the same...the miracle of childbirth and seeing your wife endure that is incredible. You can never understand it unless you live it! Congratulations and enjoy parenthood! xx

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  138. Beautifully told. Our first born took almost the same amount of time to come, and was riddled with problems. I can identify exactly with the feeling you had, " Will we ever see this baby". And," Am I losing my wife". It was both the best and worse day of my life. But all was fine in the end and our second only took 5 hours. Best wishes to you all. Have lots of fun.

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  139. i was brought to tears, what a beautiful experience. welcome little roo

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  140. ...and I think every woman who read this story now prays for a family like yours. for a husband like you are to Kesh. All the best for each of you!!

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  141. I don't know what to say. A worrisome experience, but you never gave up. You and your wife are two inspirational people.


    Anna

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  142. Such a beautiful story you bought tears to my eyes!

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  143. wow what an amazing story you have told Tim. Thank you for sharing it with us and those amazing photos of the birth. what a special moment.

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  144. Amazing Tim, beautiful story....we are about to go through it in a few months too.

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  145. Beautiful. Such a story of love. I was in tears reading it. Thank you for sharing this story & for sharing your photography. Such an inspiration to me.

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  146. This is so beautiful. It's stunned me into a calm and serene silence. I read all these words and I'm nodding the whole way through. Childbirth is such an experience; a life-changing, life-affirming experience. I am proud to have given birth and blessed beyond words to have a wonderful son. You guys are inspiring, the smiles on your baby's face tells me how lovely you two must be. I don't need to know or to have met you to know that. Roo is a lucky boy. He will do great things.

    Peace and love.

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