So it turns out there is a real side to Phuket. We caught a bus to Phuket Town (a dollar each) and went to the night markets. I can happily report that I was out numbered by Thai people by about a zillion to one.
Kesh had a meltdown of sorts. Triggered by enormous amounts of cheap, handmade clothing and the most insane collection of legitimate Thai food ever. Food, glorious food. My faith has been restored.